Please see this post and then come back if you still have any questions: http://majorkarnage.net/2012/04/16/why-state-marriage-is-worse-for-marriage-than-gay-marriage/

Secondly, what we’re talking about is the RIGHT to marry under Australian law. The fact that your Jewish friends decided not to exercise that right because they have a different conception of ‘marriage’ is great, but it’s irrelevant.

Same-sex couples aren’t afforded this same opportunity to decide whether or not to get married, and have that marriage recognised by the State. (I don’t believe they’d be able to have their marriage recognised by Jewish law either).

State marriage is the only type of marriage that is relevant and recognised by all Australians. And thus to deny a same-sex couple the right to a state marriage simply because it is a homosexual relationship is to treat their relationship as being of lesser value or less importance that a heterosexual relationship, that is, ‘second-class’.

That aside, I don’t agree with your characterisation of marriage anyway, it assumes that there is a “first class” that attaches to heterosexual couples through state marriage and that to be outside of that institution is somehow of a lower class.

I know a heterosexual couple who are happily married under Judaism, but never had their marriage registered by the state because they believe that God, and not the government, is the authority that can recognise marriage. I come from a very different place, but I agree completely with that perspective. I do not think that they are in any way in a “second class” of relationship when compared with the “first class” of state sanctioned marriage.

Philosophical arguments aside, the fact is, marriage is State-regulated. Surely there are going to mental health implications for members of the community who are considered second-class by the current legislation, simply because they are in a same-sex relationship.